


A COMPELLING ARGUEMENT

by Zenamydog



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Drama & Romance, Emotional Roller Coaster, Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 00:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19801264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenamydog/pseuds/Zenamydog
Summary: As his relationship with Michael develops, Spock must confront his feelings and his fears. He needs to decide if he can love Michael and still honor his Vulcan ways.





	A COMPELLING ARGUEMENT

**Author's Note:**

> A companion piece to 'Right Here With You', but can easily be read as a stand alone.

Michael had been given 4 days to recuperate from the trauma of being held captive on Holodeck 4. At first she didn’t want to take them, saying she was fine and fit for duty, but Captain Pike had insisted. He told her he would ‘feel better’ if she had “family” with her, just in case. That meant Spock, alone, together on a beautiful sunlit beach for 4 whole days and it made for a very compelling argument. Maybe she did need to rest after all? Grateful to her Captain for being a compassionate human being, she didn’t resist for long.

Michael brushed the sand off her feet before stepping onto the towel to sit down. She sat purposely close to Spock, who was resting up against a large boulder. She couldn’t tell if he was staring up or had his eyes closed, because he was wearing dark sunglasses.

“Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in shades?” She asked, putting her head on his shoulder.  
  


“I believe this is the first time you’ve seen me wear light-reflection-glasses. So therefore the answer to your question is...” He turned his head to look down at her. “... no”

Michael frowned and put her hand on his knee. “It was a rhetorical question. I was just saying, you look... handsome with sunglasses on.”

Spock turned his head back to look out at the horizon. “From that statement, one would therefore assume, I do not look handsome without them?”

Michael slapped his knee. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“I could possibly say you look beautiful in that bikini.”

Michael scooted back to put a little distance between them so she could see his face. She reached out and plucked the sunglasses off, laying them beside her. “So are you saying I am not beautiful without this bikini on?”

Spock didn’t smile with his lips, but his eyes did. “Actually... I think you are much more beautiful without your bikini on.”

Michael shook her head and grinned. She moved the distance she needed to lift a knee over and straddle his thighs. “You never cease to amaze me.” She leaned in and kissed him. He kissed her back and then twisted and launched, making her fall backwards onto the towel, all without breaking the kiss. She half sighed, half moaned as his large, strong hands ran down the side of her body, brushing over her breast, stomach and coming to rest on her hip.

Spock looked down at her when the kiss broke. His eyes large, almost all pupils. “I believe we should return to our bedroom.”

“Why?” She asked, half teasing, half serious.

Spock didn’t answer straight away; instead he allowed his hips to move against hers. He leaned in and kissed the side of her neck and then licked the shell of her ear. “I need you,” he whispered close to her ear and the words were almost as arousing as his tongue.

Michael had thought about reminding Spock that the beach they were on, was their own private beach, at least for the next day and a half. No one would be there to see them and he could just have her right that very minute. She thought about it, but then stopped, pushing him up with her hands. She’d made love once before on a beach, with Ash, and as romantic as it all sounded, the practicality of sand everywhere, eyes, ears and including inside you, wasn’t that great. Sand was pretty abrasive. “Let’s go.”

As they began to walk the 5 minutes it took to reach their Condo, Michael took hold of Spock’s hand. It was so liberating to be able to touch each other, be affectionate and just be.

“May I ask you, Michael?” Spock looked down at their entwined hands. “Why do humans... hold hands?”

At first Michael wasn’t sure if he was serious, but she had to remind herself, this was Spock’s first experience in a real relationship. She shrugged. “Not sure. I think it’s partly the touch.” She needed to think about it. “I suppose, the other part is... Well I guess it sends a signal to everyone around that you’re a couple.”

“There is no one on this beach.”

“True... but... I like holding your hand when we walk.”

Spock nodded. “Fascinating.”

Michael let out a small laugh. “Only you would find the meaning of holding hands... fascinating.”

“I think many customs from many cultures are fascinating. I would just like to understand the rituals I perform with you and the reason for them.”

“Rituals?” Michael’s first instinct was to be offended. _First relationship... First relationship... half Vulcan... half Vulcan._ “Well...” Michael stopped just as they reached the concrete steps leading up to their Condo. “I should tell you then, there is one ritual you need to get a lot more practice in.” She raised a suggestive eyebrow.

Spock’s face hardened, a dash of confusion in his eyes. “You think I need to improve in my love making?”

Her eyes widened slightly, guilt rising. “No, that’s not---,”

Spock’s lips tipped up in a genuine fully fledged smile. He totally fooled her. “Damn you, Spock.” She laughed and hit him on the arm.

He took a step closer and leaned in as if to kiss her, instead he scooped her up into his arms and began to carry her up the stairs. “If it is practice you think I need, then practice I will.”

Michael laughed, then buried her head into the crook of his neck. She could totally get on board with that.

00000000000000000000000000000000000

Their lovemaking was strong, passionate and a little bit deviant as they openly used furniture other than the bed. It was something totally unexpected, but very much appreciated as Spock unlocked parts of himself she had never seen before. Fast, gentle, powerful and even loud. Being alone in a place with no concern for others had brought out the animal instincts in both of them.

“Go grab a shower. I’ll get us dinner.” Michael said as he pulled out of her for the 2nd or 3rd time. “What do you feel like?”

“Whatever you are having.” He moved away, heading to the bathroom and she immediately felt the absence of his touch.

Tonight was their last night and tomorrow they would be returning to Discovery. She didn’t mind too much, she loved her job, except now she’d had a taste. A taste of what it was like to be with Spock as his partner. No stolen kisses, no hiding and excuses. And Spock... she’d never seen this side of him before. Relaxed, romantic and who knew he actually had sense of humour? From that perspective, going back was going to be hard. Michael walked over to the replicater. Now, what to have for dinner? She grinned when she heard the shower turn on. It was a water shower. Hmmm, she thought. Maybe dinner could wait.

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Spock walked the long corridor towards Sick Bay. They’d only been back a few hours when Doctor Grace had informed Michael she needed to see him about his test results. They had been routine, or so he thought. He had to admit it was little disturbing that the doctor had insisted on delivering the results to him personally. He was a picture of health and that should have reassured him, but Michael’s concern was warranted. She had been correct. All annual physicals were reported through your personal inbox. That was, of course, unless something was wrong. He couldn’t imagine what it could be, though. He felt fine, better than fine. He was in peak condition and more than that, he was... happy. Your mental state often had a direct correlation with your physical health.

“Good morning, Doctor,” Spock said as he entered. He was grateful Doctor Grace was the first person he saw. “Commander Burnham stated you wished to see me?”

Grace looked up from her screen. “Good morning, Lieutenant. Yes. I tried to relay your results to you a few days ago, but you were consoling your sister on Spartacus 5.”

Spock moved to stand with his hands behind. Unusual that she would even mention that. “Yes, she required some time after the events on holodeck 4 I felt it my duty to accompany her.”

“I see,” Grace said, no compassion or understanding in her eyes. She tapped a few buttons on her computer. “I have your urine sample results, but I’m afraid we may need to run this particular test again.” She turned the screen around for him to see. “There is a very minute chance that it is incorrect, but it appears to be the case here... A... glitch perhaps?” She looked at him as if she was trying to gage him in some way. “My records show that you are not due for Ponn Farr for another 3 years.”

Spock frowned. “That is correct.”

“Then it must be a glitch.” Grace looked perplexed. “If you look at the SHBG count, it is very high. In humans I would not find it at all disturbing. They are after all... human. In a Vulcan, however it would only reach these levels prior to or during Ponn Farr. This reads for someone who is sexually active and therefore it must be incorrect. We will need to run the test again.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. This was indeed... awkward. “No need, Doctor. I am perfectly healthy. Any further testing would be a waste of your time and mine. I do, however, thank you for your diligence in this matter.”

Grace looked at him for a long moment and Spock thought she might be going to ask the question. Was he sexually active? He sensed she knew he was withholding the facts. If asked, he would not be able to outright lie.

“I am sorry, Lieutenant, but I must insist. If the analysis program is corrupted, then I must put in a report and have it seen to. I can only be sure if I run the test again.” She stood and walked over to the cabinet. She opened it and pulled out a light syringe.

Spock breathed in, a dilemma forming in his mind. If she ran the test again, it would yield the same results. That meant they would spend a great deal of time running diagnostics, only to come up empty.

Grace reached out to hand him the syringe. “If you could take a sample and bring it back to me.”

Spock kept his hands behind his back. “The program is correct. It is not a glitch. There is no need to run the test again.”

Grace’s eyes widened, a look of shock on her face for a brief second, before her unreadable Vulcan face returned. “Are you telling me that---,”

“Yes I am, Doctor... and as this falls within the realm of doctor-patient privilege, I expect this will stay between us.”

Again Grace looked perplexed, but there was a tinge of something else in her expression. “Who?”

“I do not see any reason what that disclosure would have to do with my health. Therefore I decline to answer.”

“You do understand that this is not...” She seemed to fumble for the word. “... normal for a Vulcan.”

Spock didn’t answer, instead he nodded courteously. “So if there is nothing else?”

Grace stared at him. “I do not understand, Mr Spock, how could this be? My understanding is that you have embraced Vulcan culture and its doctrines. This is not at all logical.”

“Physical love is a choice, Doctor. Ponn Farr is not the only time Vulcan’s can bond.”

Grace shook her head. “But it is the only time they should,” she said with judgment in her tone and on her face.

Spock lifted his head a little higher and met her gaze. He did not need to explain himself. “Is there anything else Doctor?” he asked with a dismissive edge.

“No, Lieutenant, there is not.” She pressed her lips together tightly. “I do, however, hope, you do not intend to make the same mistake your parents did and dilute bloodlines.”

Spock was calm until that moment. The conversation was awkward, but not personal beyond the bounds of medical inquiry. Now though, a line had been crossed. He wanted to dress this woman down, tell her she had insulted him, his mother and his father, but he stayed silent. He could not say anything without showing the anger he felt and that was another non-Vulcan trait he was not comfortable to disclose. Instead he turned and walked out. He didn’t understand why, perhaps because Doctor Grace was Vulcan, but he was a little shaken by her words. This was exactly why he did not want others to know he and Michael were in love. Whatever the reason, different species or culture, there was still prejudice in the universe. That didn’t even take into account that people saw them as brother and sister.

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“So?” Michael said the moment he walked back into his quarters.

Spock knew exactly what she was saying but he needed time to phrase his words. “I thought you were on duty?”

“I’m on break. What did Doctor Grace want to see you about?”

Spock moved to stand in front of her and could see the concern in her eyes. “I am in perfect health, Michael. There is nothing at all to worry about.”

Michael took the step needed to close the gap and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug, but he noted his own hesitancy.

“I’m glad,” she said into his chest and squeezed a little tighter. “But why did she insist on talking to you face to face?” She pulled back to look up at him.

If she had stayed close to his chest, Spock may have been able to avoid the question, but now she was looking directly at him and there was no way to lie. “Apparently I have high levels of SHBG in my body. This led to Doctor Grace assuming the equipment was faulty. She wanted to run the test again.”

“SHBG?” Michael frowned, her face a picture of confusion. “Isn’t that like... a sex hormone?”

“Yes Michael it is. Common in humans, but only found in Vulcans during Ponn Farr.”

Michael raised an eyebrow and then grinned as understanding washed over her face. “What did you tell Doctor Grace?”

“You find this amusing?” Spock was suddenly annoyed.

“Well... you have high levels because we...” She gestured between the two of them. “... you know... like... almost every night.”

“Yes, that is the reason for the high levels and yes, I was required to confirm I was sexually active in order for her to not run the test again and understand her equipment was not faulty.”

Michael smiled again. “Three down, everyone else to go.”

Spock furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“Captain Pike and Ash know. Now Doctor Grace. It will get easier with time.”

“I did not disclose your name to her, Michael. Why would I? It is none of her concern and has nothing to do with my wellbeing.”

Michael sucked in a breath. “Of course you didn’t.” She appeared disappointed and shrugged. “You’re right. It has nothing to do with her... or... anyone else.” She moved forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. “I need to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight.”

Spock watched her leave and felt something he could not really identify. She had not pushed, not overtly anyway, but it was clear she didn’t want to hide the nature of their true relationship anymore. After his encounter with Doctor Grace, he was more certain that ever, it was not logical to let people know. He’d told Captain Pike to save Michael’s life, something he would do again in a heartbeat. He was still unsure how Ash Tyler had discovered the truth, but, if the truth be told, Ash was one person he wanted to be informed. Spock did not want him attempting to see Michael with the false hope that their past relationship could be rekindled. Spock walked to his window and looked out. That thought in itself made him uncomfortable. Was he still jealous? A human trait, one of many he found more and more in himself since falling in love with Michael. He thought he had accepted to allow his human side to flourish, but now... Doctor Grace’s words had truly shaken that belief. _‘The mistake your parents made.’_ He had often thought about himself as a mistake.

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Doctor Grace looked at the time. She should have finished her shift over an hour ago. The fact was, she had been slow, needing to finish up reports and log her findings. She was distracted and she knew why.

Spock.

He had not been on Discovery for very long, but she remembered him. Had in fact followed his career path and was pleasantly surprised when he came onboard Discovery. He clearly didn’t remember her and why would he? She was only on Vulcan for a few months when they met as children. Her family travelled a lot and she had only attended his school briefly. She remembered him, but not for the best of reasons. Despite her parent’s belief that he was an abomination, she felt sorry for the relentless teasing and segregation he was forced to endure. She’d left just after Michael had arrived and regardless of the illogical reasoning, she was glad he would at least have someone there for him. 

Now, though, it would appear he was going down a path that was as dangerous as his parents had. To mate with someone that was not of his bloodline and... this was the part that confused her the most... for pleasure. She knew the other female Vulcans on Discovery and there was very little chance an ongoing physical relationship could be sustained. Not in the way his test result had indicated. Spock was having sexual intercourse often. She just could not see a Vulcan woman allowing that, especially when he was not in Ponn Farr.

Who though? She wasn’t sure if it was simple curiosity or real concern, but she needed to find out, who. She hit the button on her comm. “Ensign Craig, could you please come to my office.”

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The young ensign had inched his way towards her. She liked that she made him nervous. He would be more willing to follow her instructions. She was a doctor, first and foremost, but she did have a ranking as a commander and in this instant it would help.

“You wanted to see me, Doctor Grace?”

“Yes.” Grace gestured toward the chair across from her desk. “Take a seat.”

Craig hesitated before he scrambled into the chair. “Is there something wrong, Ma’am? I thought all my yearly tests came back negative. Have you found something I should know about?”

Grace blinked. Of course he was going to assume it was something medical. “No,” she said. “Your health check was perfect... Well as perfect as it can be for a human. I have asked you here on another matter.”

“Oh.” Craig sat up a little straighter and smiled, clearly relieved. “What is it?”

“I understand you’ve applied to be a part of the security team on this ship. Your application is pending, is it not?”

“Yes.” He looked a little confused. “I... I think it would be a good career move. I’m not technically minded and my science isn’t all that it could be, but I’m strategic and have a good eye for detail. I think it would be a good fit.”

“Good,” Grace said. “Then I have a job for you.”

“A job? What sort of job?”

“You do understand that I am not only a doctor but also a commander, and therefore your senior, don’t you?” She looked at him directly. “If I were to entrust you with information and ordered that it was to be kept classified, you would need to comply with that order.”

Craig’s eyes narrowed slightly, more through fear, Grace suspected, than through suspicion. “Yes, Doctor, umm... I mean Commander... er...” He stumbled over his address.

“Doctor is fine, Ensign.” Grace shifted in her seat. “This is classified and therefore you are to tell no one. It’s not all bad news though. If you complete this and gain the information I am asking for, then I may be able to put in a recommendation for you.”

Craig smiled again. “That would be great, Doctor. I’d be very grateful. What do you need me to do?”

“Do you know Lieutenant Spock?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I mean, I don’t know, know him, but I’m aware he was stationed to the USS Enterprise before he came to Discovery, so I know who he is.”

“I want...” Grace stopped for a second and thought about how she was going to formulate her request. “I need you to follow him. Not while he is on duty. After hours.”

Craig sucked in a breath. “Really? Why?” He frowned. “From everything I’ve heard, he’s an exceptional officer. Above reproach.”

“Yes, Ensign, he is an exceptional officer. Think of this as a test. I need you to find out who he spends time with. I want to know who goes in and out of his quarters or whose quarter’s he visits the most frequently.”

Craig nodded and Grace realized she had underestimated this man. “You want me to find out who his girlfriend...” He shrugged. “... or boyfriend is, right? Why else would you want to know who he hangs with?”

Boyfriend? Grace hadn’t even contemplated such a thing, but... She also had no idea that her request would be so transparent. “You are astute. I like that.”

“I don’t understand, though. Isn’t people’s private life their own? May I ask why?”

Grace stood from behind her desk. “You may not. As I say, you are to say nothing to no one about this task and report back to me when you find something.”

Craig stood up and to attention. “Yes, Ma’am. Understood.”

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“Spock?” Captain Pike’s voice came over his comm. “I need you to come to sickbay. Commander Burnham’s had an accident and I thought you’d like to know.”

“An accident?” Spock couldn’t keep the alarm out of his voice. “What sort of accident?” he asked as the doors slid open from his quarters and he started down the corridor.

“One of the simulators blew up and she was burnt. I’m here now. She looks okay, but she’s not the best patient. We may need your help.”

Spock quickened his pace and had to stop himself from running. He was fully conscious that his heart was racing. Blew up? Burnt? The Captain said she looked okay, but his mind wouldn’t accept that as it played out worst-case scenarios.

When he entered sickbay Michael was sitting on the examination bed. Doctor Culber was dressing her right hand and arm, up to her elbow. Captain Pike was hovering and stepped in front of him before he reached her.

“She’s fine, Spock. I’m sorry if I alarmed you.”

Spock took a breath and composed himself before stepping around Pike and towards Michael.

“There you go,” Doctor Culber said as he fastened the semi-transparent bandage. “I’m sorry you’ll have to wear this for a couple of days. The burn’s too deep to just leave open. Better safe than sorry.”

“But there’s no nerve damage, right?” Michael asked looking at her hand and turning it around for inspection. There was a grin on her face and her eyes looked wide.

“Well... there is, but, you’re very lucky. There’s nothing permanent.” Culber smiled. “Just leave this on and come back tomorrow so I can check it.”

“Michael?” Spock said as he stepped into her line of sight.

“Spock,” Michael replied and her grin grew wider. She reached out with her left hand.

Instinctively Spock took it, but he looked between the doctor and Captain Pike. A clear question on his face.

“I’ve given her some Golad 24. It’s a very strong pain killer. She may need some assistance getting back to her quarters.”

“No I don’t,” Michael insisted. She furrowed her brow and slid from the bed to stand. “I am perfectly....” Her knees gave way, but Spock already had a hold of her and quickly grabbed her waist. “Okay... maybe a little help.” She looked up at him and her grin returned. “You are so handsome, Spock. Do you know that?”

Spock glanced at Pike who clearly found this amusing and Doctor Culber looked a little perplexed, but he was smiling to. “Let’s go.” Spock started to push and half drag Michael towards the door. “I think I need to get you to bed,” he added and immediately regretted his choice of words.

“Hmm... I like that idea,” Michael said in a dream like fashion as she laid her head to his chest.

Pike half coughed, half chuckled and Spock desperately wanted to just roll his eyes. Instead he continued to keep Michael moving. He couldn’t look at Doctor Culber, but he could imagine a look of total confusion on his face. Pike knew about them, but the doctor didn’t.

They only got as far as the corridor entrance before Michael stopped and became a dead weight. She spun in his arm to be in front of him. Before he could react she’d grabbed hold of his face with both hands and their lips met. He didn’t resist, he just let her kiss him. It was brief but in a way satisfying. Only a few minutes earlier he was overcome with anxiety, not knowing how badly she’d been hurt. Now though, she was solid, there, in his arms where she should be. The satisfaction drained and the anxiety returned when he looked down the corridor. They were in public, but thank the stars it was late and there was no one around.

“Michael,” he said sternly. “We are in plain view. You’re lucky it is late. Someone could have seen you.”

Michael stepped back and her face changed from sleepy, dopy, joyful, to sombre, disappointed and angry. “And what if they had? So what? What do you think would happen?” She gestured with her hand. “The universe is still spinning... And by the way, it’s ‘us’, they could have seen ‘us’. If there is such a thing as ‘us’.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. He knew that Michael was heavily affected by the Golad 24, still, he didn’t understand the 360 turn around in her attitude and she was looking at him as if she expected him to say something. Answer a question that she hadn’t asked.

“Oh, forget it!” Michael waved a dismissive hand and started to walk down the corridor ahead of him. She’d taken only a few steps before she staggered and almost fell. She didn’t though, because he was there to catch her, as he always would be. This time though she didn’t, maybe couldn’t steady herself and he needed to lift her up into a carry position.

“I’m sorry,” she cried immediately as she tucked her forehead to the side of his neck. “I didn’t mean that. I just don’t want you to be ashamed of me. I... I don’t know what’s happening.”

Spock didn’t either. Ashamed? He tried to make sense of her emotional fluctuation. She was sobbing now. “You’ve had a shock, Michael. You’re just a little overwhelmed.” He thought about carrying Michael all the way to his quarters, but that would undoubtedly draw questions from anyone who saw them. He hit his comm. “Lieutenant Detmer, could you please beam myself and Commander Burnham directly to my quarters.” 

“Yes, of course,” came the quick reply. “Is Michael okay? I heard what happened.”

Questions, even from unseeing eyes. Spock took in a breath. “She is fine,” he replied sharply. “She is very unsteady on her feet, due to the pain control medication, so if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Yes, Sir... Transporting now.”

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Spock sat at his console. He was attempting to read reports and do some calculations, but he kept glancing at Michael, who was fast asleep on his bed. She had moaned in her sleep more than once and he could only surmise that the pain killer was wearing off. That in itself was distracting. His discomfort levels went through the roof when he thought about Michael being in pain. He was tired and really needed sleep himself, but to crawl in beside her might wake her and he didn’t want to risk that. If she was in pain while asleep, she would be in more when fully conscious. He’d already called down to Doctor Culber, but the doctor had informed him, she couldn’t have another dose of Golad 24 for at least another 24 hours. Any other pain block would have little to no affect. He went into detail about how, even in this day and age and while they had given mother nature a rather large nudge, the damage was so deep that they had to let the nerve endings settle and heal. The bandage could come off in the next day or two, but she would need medication or have residual pain for at least the next few weeks.

“Spock?” Michael’s sleepy voice pulled his full attention back to her.

“I’m here,” he said without hesitation as he stood and moved to the bed, sitting beside her on the edge.

“What... what happened?”

“There was an explosion. Do you not remember?”

Michael nodded and rolled onto her back. “Yes, I think so. It’s a bit of a blur.” She winced and held her hand up to look at the covering. “I tried to fix the alignment on the replicater by hand. Stupid.”

It was Spock’s turn to nod. “Of that, I must agree with you.”

Michael sucked in a hissed breath. “It hurts like a mother.”

A frown crossed Spock’s forehead. “Your mother did not hurt you.”

Michael smiled and lifted her good hand to his face. “It’s an Earth saying.” She stared at him for comprehension, but he had none. Earth sayings often did not make sense. “Never mind,” she said and scooted over. “It’s late. Come to bed.”

Spock got up and walked back to the console. He switched everything off. Undressed and climbed in beside her, mindful of her arm. She moved to lean on his chest and he placed his arm under her head, relishing the warmth of her next to him. “Good night, Michael.” He turned his head and kissed her on the forehead.

“Good night, Spock.”

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It had been 7 days since Grace had sent Craig on his mission to find Spock’s mate. He was on his way to see her and for some unknown, illogical reason, she felt anxious about the result.

“Come in, sit down.” She gestured when he arrived. “What have you found?” She got straight to the point.

Craig’s face contorted a little and he shook his head. He placed a disk in front of her. “Nothing, not really.” He pointed to the disk. “As one person, I knew I wouldn’t be able to follow Lieutenant Spock 100% of the time, but...” He shrugged and a look of satisfaction crossed his face. “I realized I didn’t need to. I had a permanent camera outside his quarters, of course, but I also built a program for face recognition. Every time Spock was in the vicinity of a ship camera it recorded. There’s about 30 hours of snippets on that disk. I’ve analysed the first 10 or so and honestly...” He shrugged again. “Mr Spock is pretty boring. He sleeps, eats, works. He doesn’t go many places, or use the holodeck. There’s nothing on there that’s unexpected.”

Doctor Grace kept her features calm. This wasn’t the news she expected or wanted. “Extremely clever Ensign, to use the ship’s security cameras.”

“I thought so.” Craig grinned.

“Unproductive, but clever.” She pursed her lips. “Are you saying that the Lieutenant visits no one, goes nowhere other than his work station and no one comes to see him?”

“He spends time outside of working hours, mostly in his quarters. Even eats in there. He visits Captain Pike in his Ready Room. Uses the science labs a fair bit. Occasionally he’ll go to his sister’s quarters or she comes to see him.” He jutted his chin towards the disk. “You’re welcome to look for yourself, but like I said. There doesn’t seem to be anything that’s unexpected.”

Grace let out a small sigh... “Thank you, Ensign. I will take a look for myself.”

Craig smiled. “And that recommendation?”

“Of course. I will do that tomorrow. For now you are dismissed.”

Craig’s smile slipped. “Right... okay... Thank you, Doctor. Have a good evening.”

Grace watched him leave and picked up the disc. There had to be something. Spock could not have the SHGB reading he had, without seeing someone, copulating with someone on a regular basis. Craig had said he went to Captain Pike’s Ready Room often. It couldn’t be, could it? Spock with another man... no... It couldn’t be.

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Grace had spent the better part of the previous evening, watching, searching and checking time stamps. It was true that Spock saw Captain Pike more than any other member of crew, well, with the exception of his sister, of course, but his encounters with the captain were, for the most part, brief. She’d watched him enter, checked the time stamp and then watched him leave. The average time was 15 minutes. Longer times were often with other senior crew present for scheduled meetings. Was this time enough to elicit the SHGB response in such high levels? Theoretically perhaps, but she all but ruled it out. The time factor notwithstanding, she had great respect for Captain Pike and didn’t want to believe he would lower the stature of captaincy by having a sordid affair in his Ready Room.

Grace sat down behind her desk, tired. She hadn’t slept well as frustration had robbed her of her slumber. She had a full and busy day of routine checks and a mountain of reports to write. She sometimes wondered if accepting a post on a star ship had been the right career choice.

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“Doctor Grace?” Michael said, a little nervous about facing this woman.

Grace looked up. “Commander Burnham?” She stood and walked with Michael into the medical area.

“I’m wondering if I could have another pain block? I don’t mean to be sooky, but it really hurts.”

Grace looked at her; it was the same look Spock gave her when something eluded him. “Sooky?”

Michael grinned. She knew it. She knew Vulcan’s to well. “Umm.... be a baby... drama queen, over react... sooky,” she explained.

Doctor Grace, shook her head slightly. She grabbed her tablet and brought up the Michael’s file. “Well...” she said and looked back at Michael. “I can understand why. There was substantial damage to your nerve endings.”

Michael let out a breath. “But they’re going to be fine, right?” She suddenly needed reassurance. “Doctor Culber said it would take a while, but they will heal.”

“Yes,” Grace said. “He is correct.” She ran her medical tri-corder over Michael’s hand and arm. “There is already a minor improvement.” She put the tri-corder down and took hold of Michael’s hand, then pressed her thumb on each of her knuckles. “Do you feel that?”

Michael winced. “Yes...” She pulled her hand back. “I can.”

“Good... that’s good. If you didn’t feel my touch I’d have cause to be concerned.” She checked the bandage. “No need to change this just yet.” She swiped her tablet and a look of surprise crossed her face. “Doctor Culber gave you a very strong dose of Golad 24. I’m amazed you were able to walk.”

Michael smiled. “Well, actually... Apparently Spock had to help me. I don’t really remember.”

Doctor Grace nodded. “Ah, yes... your brother,” her tone held judgement. “I must say, I’ve been a little concerned about him of late.”

Michael frowned. “Concerned? Why?” she said, already knowing the answer.

“He didn’t tell you about his test results?”

Michael felt her cheeks heat up. “Yes.” She tried to act unaffected. “He said he was healthy, nothing unexpected. No need for any concern.”

“I’m not certain I would agree, but... he does appear to be healthy. I guess I am more concerned about his mental wellbeing rather than his physical.” She looked directly at Michael as she multitasked, drawing up the light syringe.

Michael frowned. “What does that mean?” She suddenly felt a pang. Had Spock told her everything?

“Well... I am bound by medical ethics of course, but... Has Mr Spock been...” Grace hesitated and shook her head, completely changing the subject. “I’m going to give you half the dose of Golad 24 you had last night, but it will still affect you. I suggest you go straight to your quarters and lay down.”

Doctor Grace dispersed the light into Michael’s arm and Michael felt it straight away. “Whoa, if that’s half a dose, I must have been really out of it, last night.” She felt light-headed.

“I’ve added a little Trudom as well,” Grace confessed. “If you are anything like most humans, you’re stubborn and will resist my instructions to go straight to bed.”

“Trudom?” Michael frowned. She’d heard of that. “Is that, like... like a truth serum?”

“It slows your heart rate and the synapses of your brain function. I guess...” Grace let out a breath. “In the dark ages it was misused. It can make you quite susceptible to suggestion. Which is why I’ve added it. I want you to go to your quarters and rest. Are we clear?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Michael replied with a grin. After being in pain for so long, the relief was almost euphoric... or was that the drugs? She tried to concentrate. “You said you were worried about Spock?”

“Yes. He is going against his nature and I am concerned in the long run it will... to use an earth saying... come back and bite him.”

“No. He’ll be fine.” She waved a hand. “Being in love isn’t a disease.” Her grin slipped. Why the hell did she just say that?

Grace’s eyes widened. “You know then... that Spock has taken a mate.”

Michael pushed her lips together hard. She wanted to say, ‘of course, I’m that mate’ and it took a lot of concentration not to. “Yes... and I’m glad for him. He deserves to be happy.”

“He is Vulcan and while he has human blood, he has embraced the Vulcan culture. Without that he will ultimately be lost. If this... person... truly cared for him, they would understand this is not natural.”

Michael felt anger bubbling. “You sound like the purists we had to put up with as children. The reason I had to run away.”

“You are human, Commander. It would be illogical to place blame for that. You have no choice. You were never targeted, except by cruel, ill-informed children. Spock on the other hand, only found peace when he embraced his Vulcan half.”

“How do you know that?” Michael took a step forward and felt her heart speed up.

“I know you don’t remember me, Commander Burnham, but we met very briefly as children. I left Vulcan shortly after you did. I was there long enough though to remember what Lieutenant Spock went through. It changed after you left. I think whoever he has chosen to have this....” Her face contorted. “... relationship with, doesn’t fully understand the ramifications of it. She doesn’t understand that in the long run, it won’t be accepted.”

Doctor... no... Grace... Grace... Michael mulled the name over in her mind. Garland Grace. Michael looked up at her slowly. “Your father was Chancellor Garland Grace.”

“That is correct.”

Michael swallowed hard. He was the man that campaigned and led the purist movement.

“My father was misguided, and I must say, I did not agree with him some of the time,” Grace explained. “But he was correct in a lot of ways. The facts speak for themselves.” 

“And what ‘facts’ would that be, Doctor?” Michael needed to remain calm. This was the movement that had torn her away. This was the movement that had all but destroyed Spock as a child.

“The fact is dilution through integration has caused many races and peoples to go extinct throughout the ages. It started in the 20th century with the American Indian or the Australia Aboriginals. These peoples do not exist anymore. Look at the Hohan people from Hohanna. They moved to earth after their planet was destroyed. There are now less than 30,000 purebloods left. They too will be gone in a 1000 years. The Vulcan culture, especially once we joined the Federation, was endangered. My father saw and understood this.” Grace looked at her and there was uncharacteristic sympathy in her eyes. “The fact that people are intolerant. The fact that interracial relationships breed children that will suffer and never know quite where they belong. You know this, Michael. You have seen it with your own eyes. Spock was and it appears, still is, torn between his parents culture. Tell me I am wrong.”

Michael felt a hot tear well in her eye. She couldn’t... she couldn’t tell Grace that she was wrong. “People can’t help who they fall in love with, Doctor,” was the only thing she could think to say.

“Can’t they?” Grace shook her head. “I don’t expect you to tell me who it is, but I do ask this of you.”

“What?”

“Tell her... Tell her what you yourself have witnessed. The pain and anguish Spock had to endure and most likely still does. Ask them to test and see. Is Spock truly happy? If he is, why is his relationship not known? True it is no one else’s business, but... Ask his mate if Spock would be happy to breed with her? Ask yourself, Michael. Does Spock still struggle with his human half? Is he not more content when immersed in his Vulcan nature? Be honest and... let his mate know what she is getting into.”

Tears spilt over in Michael’s eyes as anger and compassion mixed and confused her. She did understand the extinction of races. She did understand how painful the term ‘half-breed’ was. She had watched Spock try to keep both his parents happy. And yes... Spock did insist on keeping their relationship a secret. “I... I’m sure she already understands the complexities of their relationship,” Michael finally said.

“I can see by your tears that you comprehend what I am saying. More so, as his sister, you have an obligation to protect him... and... I guess... this woman who would unwittingly lead him astray.”

Astray? The word raised the hairs on the back of her neck. She understood that her mind was clouded because of the drugs, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from speaking. “Spock’s a big boy. He knows what he’s doing. As tough and I guess in some ways as tragic as it may be, love isn’t a choice. We love who we love.” She tried to slow her breathing as she fought hard from screaming out that she was Spock’s mate. His lover, the one who was leading him... astray.

Grace looked at her tri-corder and squinted. “Your blood pressure is rising, Michael. I’m sorry. I did not mean to upset you. I simply thought that, as his sister, his family, you would want what was best for him.”

“Not by blood and I’m more than his sister,” she blurted out and closed her eyes for a second with regret.

“What do you mean more?” Grace’s eyes narrowed.

Michael had to think quick, but it came naturally because it was true. “I am his best friend, his confidante. I know him better than anyone else in this universe and bloodlines or not, he is happier and more content than he has ever been in his life.”

“Yet he is ashamed to let people know that,” Grace said quickly and turned away from her. She gathered her tablet and tri-corder. “As I said... You need to go to your quarters and rest. Do you need me to call someone to help you, or are you fine on your own?”

Michael stood up to gage her balance. “No, I’m okay.”

“Good... Now if you’ll excuse me.” Grave walked over and sat behind her desk. “Let me know if anything changes.”

Michael nodded. She didn’t feel well, maybe it was her arm, maybe the drugs or maybe it was the conversation she had just had. Why did it all ring so true, she thought as she made her way to her quarters. Her quarters... why was she headed there... she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d slept in her own bed.

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Michael watched Tilly exit the bathroom and startle when she saw her sitting there.

“Oh, Michael, sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” She continued over to her bed and sat down. A smile on her face as she tied back her long red locks and then rolled them into a bun. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes... yes of course.” She narrowed her eyes. Was she giving off some sort of unconscious signal? “Why do you ask?”

Tilly shrugged. “I... well you look...” She waved a dismissive hand. “Doesn’t matter. How’s your hand?” she asked as she started to put on her boots. It was mid morning and while Michael tucked herself into bed, Tilly’s day was just going to begin.

“Painful, but Doctor Grace gave me something and said I needed rest, so I thought...” She began undoing her buttons but fumbled with only one good hand.

Tilly grinned. “Here, let me help.” She stood and moved over to assist, sitting beside her on the bed. “I... I guess someone else helped you last night with this... you know, with buttons and... you know... things?”

Michael could tell straight away that Tilly’s question wasn’t about how she’d managed to dress and undress, it was more about who had helped her. She had been so good at not prying, not asking questions about Michael’s absence from their room night after night. Now though, the opportunity had presented itself. “Spock,” she said simply.

“Oh, right.” Tilly nodded sharply and looked a little embarrassed. “Spock? Oh... of course, yes, he’s... your brother, of course he’d be there to... you know... help.”

“Tilly?” Michael suddenly felt the urge to actually look at the pink elephants in the room. She had no idea why, but maybe she needed to prove something to herself. “Do you want to ask me something?”

“No, no... it’s fine.” Tilly undid the last button, stood and moved back to her own bed. She sat and then looked at Michael. Her expression difficult to read. “Actually yes, yes Michael. I want to know who it is. It’s been driving me crazy.”

“Who?”

“I’m not stupid, Michael. Clearly you have a lover. You haven’t slept here in months. I mean... I didn’t know, like, 100%, but...” She grinned. “I think it’s awesome.”

“You do?” An unexpected sense of relief washed over her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. We just thought... well, he thought, it might not be good for our careers.”

“What?” Tilly shook her head. “That’s silly and I’m glad you finally told me.” Tilly leaned closer. “So spit it out. Who is it?”

“You... you haven’t guessed?”

Tilly laughed. “Guess? I am so not good at guessing. At first I thought it was Ash. He was docked with us for at least part of the time, but then he left and you were still... gone. Then I thought it was...” She blushed. “... Captain Pike.”

“Captain Pike?” the words came out as if choked. “No... no.” She shook her head. “It’s not Captain Pike.”

“Yeah, I know. Curiosity got the better of me and I started taking notice. He doesn’t look at you... you know... that way.”

“Nor I him,” Michael said quickly. She felt tight in the chest. Tilly had no idea.

“You’re going to make me guess anyway, aren’t you?” Tilly pointed a finger. “Tim from engineering?”

“No.”

“Ahh... Oh, I know... Greg from the science lab. He’s really cute and I have seen him check you out a couple of times.”

“No, it’s not Greg either.” Michael suddenly didn’t want to disclose, but that wasn’t going to be an option now.

“Well the only other person I can think of is...” She looked thoughtful. “No wait, you said, he... I know Caroline from security thinks you’re hot... Umm...”

“Caroline? No... ” Michael sucked in a calming breath. “Tilly, It’s Spock.”

The grin on Tilly’s face slipped quickly. She blinked a few times, her eyes glazed over and remained silent for a few seconds longer than Michael would have liked. “But... but he’s your brother.”

Oh, god... what had she done? “Not by blood,” she explained quickly. “I don’t know how or why...” Her heartbeat sped up. “It just did and... we love each other.” She stared at Tilly, looking, searching for any sign of acceptance.

Tilly smiled, but Michael could tell it was forced. Tilly glanced at the clock and stood up. “I... I am happy for you both, I mean... I never would have guessed that in a million years, but... I’m sorry, I’m late for work, I gotta go.” She gave Michael another fake smile and walked out.

What the hell? Michael sat there confused or maybe a little in shock. What just happened? She’d told her best friend that she was in love, even explained they weren’t really related, but... If that was Tilly’s reaction then how would the rest of the crew react? Michael removed her shirt and boots and laid down. This had been a test, a way to shake off all of the things Grace had said to her. If they could just get past the ‘keeping it a secret’ part then... Then what? The test had well and truly failed.

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Grace hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her conversation with Michael. She’d tried hard to keep it professional, but it was an opportunity that had been placed squarely in her lap. It wasn’t that she’d expected Michael to tell her who Spock’s lover was, but she had hoped she could make her see that it wasn’t right and enlist her help in convincing Spock and his lover of the same. Lover... she didn’t like that word. Sex was for procreation, not for pleasure. At least Michael had said ‘she’, so it wasn’t a male. She’d also said, more than a sister. Strange... very strange.

Grace inserted the surveillance disc and started from the place she left off the night before, this time though she started looking at Michael entering Spock’s quarters and using time stamps. Her heart pounded at every entry. There was rarely an exit until the following morning.

“No,” she said out loud. “Impossible.” Could they have missed this? She fast forwarded to the night before, when Michael had come in for her burn. She watched as Spock had entered and Captain Pike stepped in front of him. He would be concerned; of course, she was his sister, but... Grace zoomed in on his face. There was no sound on the disc so she could not hear what was being said, but... Was that panic in his eyes? She kept watching and noted how he took her hand when Michael reached out for him. Still... this was beyond belief. It wasn’t until the camera followed the both of them out to the corridor that she gasped with confirmation. They were kissing... She shook her head in disgust. They were kissing. Without thinking Grace hit her console and dialled. “Father?” she said when the man answered. “I need your advice.”

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The door hissed open and Spock walked in. He moved quickly to sit beside Michael on the bed. Tilly had seen him and was acting strange. Strange even for Tilly. She’d made a point of telling him that Michael was resting in her quarters. He believed she was suggesting he check on her. The fact that Michael was in her own quarters was enough for him to do so.

“Michael?” Spock absently brushed the hair from her eyes.

Michael blinked awake and confusion crossed her face as she looked around. “What am I doing here?”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “I would ask the same thing. Is there something wrong? Are you still in pain?”

“No.” Michael shifted to sit up and leaned on her hand. “Okay... yeah, but...” She looked around. “I went to see Doctor Grace, she gave me something for it. It’s not that bad.”

Spock noted Michael’s eyes looked glassy. “Is there a reason you came here instead of my quarters?” He was curious.

“I don’t know... I’m not sure. She... Doctor Grace told me to.” Michael shrugged. “So I just did.”

Spock was a little confused. “I see,” was all he could think to say. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. “I am glad you are in less pain. I was concerned when Ensign Tilly told me you were here.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “Tilly? You spoke to Tilly?”

“Yes.” His brow furrowed. “Why do you ask that?”

“Was she... I don’t know... angry?” Michael shifted to sit up fully.

Spock was fully confused now. “I do not believe so. If anything, she appeared worried.”

“Oh, God.” Michael swung her legs over the side of the bed and her breathing quickened.

“What is it, Michael?” Spock moved to look directly into her eyes. “Did you and Tilly have some sort of argument?”

“I was upset. Doctor Grace had been asking me to tell your girlfriend what a mistake your relationship was.”

“My girlfriend?” Spock shook his head. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Your tests. She asked if you told me about the results and when I said you did, she said... well, she asked me to tell your... mate, if she knew what she was getting into.”

“What?” Spock suddenly felt a flutter of anger. He couldn’t be sure if it was because Doctor Grace was not minding her own business and this bordered on disclosing personal information or the fact that she had upset Michael.

“She kept going on about bloodlines and the extinction of whole races.” Michael sucked in a breath. “Did you know her father is Garland Grace?”

Spock’s flutter turned into a fully comprehended pang. “No, I did not.” He thought for a moment and nodded. “It makes sense now. She’s a purist.”

“She said she knew us as children. She implied she didn’t like what the other kids did to you and she didn’t always agree with her father. I don’t think she’s a purist... well not a radical one.”

“Knew us as children?” Spock looked up as he searched the cogs of his memory. He certainly knew of her father. Met him once, when he came to the house to speak to Sarek. Then it clicked. He could vaguely remember her. “Yes... Stellar Grace. She wasn’t there for long. She moved around where her father’s work took them.” Spock looked back at Michael. “I’m sorry she upset you, Michael. I will be having a discussion with her, but what has that got to do with Tilly?

“I didn’t want to believe Doctor Grace.” A tear welled in Michael’s eye. She threw the blanket back and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She brought her good hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “But...”

“I’m sure anything the doctor said to you held bias, Michael.”

“But she was right!” Michael’s eyes widened. “Grace said people wouldn’t accept us... I mean she didn’t know it was me, but that is beside the point.”

Spock still didn’t understand the connection, but then he did. “Are you saying that you told Ensign Tilly about our relationship?”

Michael nodded. “And you know what she said? First words... But he’s your brother!” Michael stood up all too quickly and swayed.

Instinctively Spock quickly stood also and took her by the arm, guiding her to sit back down. He didn’t want her to fall, but the moment she was seated he walked over to the window. His back to her. “I thought we had agreed to not disclose our relationship, Michael. We always knew this would be a possibility.” He didn’t want them to be, but he knew his words sounded harsh.

“Not we, Spock. I never really believed we’d not be...” Michael sniffed and then started to sob. “Not Tilly, not my best friend. If she can’t accept us, then Grace is right. Our relationship is doomed.”

Spock turned at that comment. “Grace believes it is not workable because of race, not because of the perception that we are brother and sister.”

“Don’t you see, Spock...” Michael’s bottom lip quivered. “That only adds another layer.” Michael stood up, slower this time, but Spock moved towards her anyhow. “I... I don’t want to live in the shadows”

Spock had felt disappointment and a touch of anger that Michael had disclosed to Tilly, but that was quickly quashed as another unrecognisable feeling bubbled up. Was Michael talking about ending them? “What do you mean by that?” He kept his voice low.

“Tell me something, Spock. Answer a question for me, honestly.”

“I will always be honest with you, Michael. What is the question?”

“If the chance arose, would you want to have a child with me?”

Spock blinked and tried not to show shock. “That is a... unexpected question.” He hesitated. “I... There would be many things to consider. I don’t know if---,”

“Just answer the damn question, Spock.”

Out of nowhere, Grace’s words assaulted his own mind. ‘Mistake... Don’t make the same mistake your parents did.’ “It is illogical to just---,”

“I knew it. You can’t answer, can you?”

“I did not know you wanted children and I have no idea why this is relevant at this moment.”

“Of course you don’t,” Michael said as she turned and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

“Michael!” Spock said loud enough to be heard through the door. “I do not understand.” He didn’t. He came to see how she was and now... There was no answer and Spock felt... anger, mixed with fear. What had just happened?

“Detmer to Spock,” a message came through his comm.

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Spock, I have a message from your father, he asked that you call him back later this evening.”

“My father?” Spock’s mind whirled. “Did he say why he was calling?”

“No, Sir. He just said he was going into a meeting and asked you to call him back tonight.”

Spock looked at the door and closed his eyes to try and focus. “Thank you, Lieutenant.” He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but hesitated and then dismissed it. He had no idea why letting Tilly knowing about them and having a child was connected, but he knew someone that might. What exactly had Doctor Grace said to Michael?

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Anger and confusion overrode Spock’s thought process as he walked towards Sick Bay. And his father... Why on earth would his father be calling him? If he hadn’t spoken to Amanda only the night before, he’d be concerned there was something wrong. His father never contacted him and it was disconcerting, but Michael and her reaction was more so and it was his priority. After everything, the thought of not being with her, made him anxious. He truly didn’t comprehend what he had done wrong. Just when he thought he understood humans...

“Good afternoon, Doctor,” he said to Hugh as he walked in. He looked around. “I’m looking for Doctor Grace.”

Hugh smiled. “Sorry Lieutenant, you’ve missed her, she went off shift about an hour ago. Is there something I can help you with?”

Disappointment washed over Spock. He had worked himself up to confront this woman. She’d said things to Michael that she had no right to say. “No... I will speak to her tomorrow, thank you.” Spock started to walk away, but turned back. “Actually, Doctor. I... Michael. She was in here this morning and Doctor Grace gave her some more pain management.”

Hugh smiled. He picked up his tablet and swiped. “Yes,” he said, looking at the screen. “Half the dose she had last night. Is everything okay?”

“She is...” He thought about how to phrase it. “... not herself. I am wondering if the Golad 24 could have an effect on her mental and emotional state?”

Hugh swiped again. “Unlikely, apart from making her very drowsy and a little high, I guess.” He frowned and continued to look at the screen. “Trudom?” he mumbled under his breath. He looked up at Spock. “When you say, emotional state, what do you mean?”

Spock hesitated. What could he say? _Well she told her best friend that she’s in a relationship with her ‘brother’ and now she’s talking about having a baby._ “As I said. She is not acting like herself. She is irrational and emotional. I am unsure why.”

Hugh nodded. “She was given a drug called Trudom.” He looked at the screen again. “A rather large dose it would seem. I might need to question that,” Hugh looked up. We usually give it to patients when we want them to follow medical orders. Knowing Michael as we do, I understand why, but...”

Spock narrowed his eyes. “So if Doctor Grace was to suggest that Michael rest in her quarters, Michael would do just that?”

“Exactly.”

“So...” Things were starting to fall into place. “Other suggestions could be made under the influence of Trudom as well?”

Hugh sucked in a breath. “As doctors we’re fully aware of the ethics of using a drug like this.” He clearly felt an affront to Spock’s question. A loyalty to his colleague maybe? “It’s true this was misused in the 20th century, but... I don’t think---,”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Spock cut him off. “I believe I understand what has happened.” He was about to turn and leave when a voice came over his comm.

“Captain Pike to Spock. I need to come to my Ready Room.”

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“You wanted to see me, Captain?”

“Yes, Spock.” Pike gestured with his hand for Spock to sit down. “I’ve just got off the line from Chancellor Garland Grace.”

Spock had no chance of hiding the shock that washed over his face.

“I can see you know who I’m referring to.”

“I do, Captain.” An unstoppable knot started to form in the pit of his stomach. “May I enquire what the call was about?”

“You may. It’s why I’ve called you here.” He looked at Spock for a long moment before continuing. “He asked me if I was aware that two of my officers were in an incestuous relationship.”

Spock curled his hand into a fist under the table and remained silent, but he knew his features spoke volumes.

“When he told me it was you and Michael, I reminded him that there’s no blood ties. I asked him how he came by this information, but he wouldn’t say.”

It was a statement, but Spock knew it to be a question. “Doctor Stellar Grace,” he said simply. “She must have figured our who my partner was and told her father.”

Pike looked confused, but he accepted the answer. “I don’t get how that happened, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is he asked me to put a halt to your relationship.”

The knot in Spock’s stomach fully formed. “There are no fraternisation rules within Starfleet at this level, Captain.” he reminded, the words sounding panicked even to his own ears. “Chancellor Grace was... is the head of a group called the Purist movement. They wish to ensure that Vulcans do not... get involved outside of their own species.”

“Yes.” Pike nodded and let out a sigh. “That became clear during the course of our discussion.”

There was a beat of uncomfortable silence as Spock mulled over the sequence of events. Could this day get any worse? “May I ask what your response was, Sir?”

“I told him to mind his own business and to pull his head in. How dare he try to tell me who could love who on my ship.” Pike smiled. “Not in those words, of course, but...”

Spock felt the ball untangle slightly. “Thank you, Sir.”

“The reason I’m telling you this, Spock is because you need to get ahead of it. He wasn’t a happy man when the call ended. I really doubt that he’s just going to drop it.”

“What do you mean? There is nothing he can do.”

“Maybe not officially. We know that our transfers back to the Enterprise have been delayed indefinitely.” He pointed a finger. “And you still haven’t told me if you’d be staying or Michael would be coming, by the way. Chancellor Grace suggested that I send you back to the Enterprise immediately.”

“What?”

Pike waved a hand. “Don’t worry. I told him I wouldn’t even consider it, but... he has influence and...”

“He will not stop.” Spock understood. He sighed. “It would seem that both the Grace’s are determined to end our relationship. The fact is...” The knot made via anger shifted to despair. “It would seem they may have already been successful.”

Pike frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Michael spoke of ending our relationship today. I believe it was because of the things Doctor Grace said to her, while she was drug induced, but I cannot be certain.”

“Drug induced? What do you mean?”

“A drug called Trudom. She suggested to Michael that a Vulcan should not mate with anyone other than another Vulcan. The drug can apparently---,”

Pikes face was contorted. “I know of the drug, Spock. It used to be used for interrogation.” He hit his comm. “Lieutenant Detmer. Can you please contact Doctor Stellar Grace and have her come to my Ready Room immediately.”

“Yes, Sir.” Detmer replied. “Right away.”

Pike looked back at Spock, a flare of anger in his eyes. “She has crossed a line.”

Spock nodded. “I agree, but...”

“But?”

“Even taking the Trudom into account. It still does not explain why Michael would ask me a question like she did. I am totally perplexed.”

“What was the question?”

“Would I have a child with her?”

Pike spluttered and then grinned. “Seriously?”

“Yes, Sir.” Spock didn’t understand why Pike found it amusing. “It was totally illogical to ask such a question,” he continued gruffly. “She said she was sick of being in the shadows, then asked if I’d ever consider having a child with her. I cannot comprehend her motive, just as I cannot comprehend why you find this funny.”

Pike’s grin faded, but not completely. “Well...” he began. “First off, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make light of the situation, but... you asking me, for relationship advice? That is kind of funny. Second of all, there is a pretty clear cut reason for asking something like that.”

“Really?” Spock raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”

“Commitment, Spock,” he said it in such a way, as if it was a given. “If you’re willing to have a baby with someone, you’re in for the long haul. Maybe Michael wants to know if you’re serious about being with her?”

“I still do not understand. She already knows that I am, Captain. I have made my feelings extremely clear.”

Pike tilted his head slightly to one side. “Have you? Actions speak louder than words, Spock. You said she doesn’t want to live in the shadows. Is that because you don’t want to tell people about her?” Spock opened his mouth to speak, but Pike continued. “Let me be honest with you, Spock. You’re at the crossroads. You have to decide. If Chancellor Grace came to me about you two, you can be sure he’s going to go to others who will listen. I don’t think you’ve got much chance of keeping it a secret for very much longer. If you want this relationship, you may need to come out from behind closed doors.”

Spock stood up. The truth be told, he felt a little overwhelmed. It would appear, all control was going to be taken out of his hands. “Thank you, Captain for your honesty. There is much to think about.”

“Spock.” Pike stood too. “The question is pretty simple. Do you love her enough to want to fight for her? If you do, then you need to do just that, even in the face of any adverse objection you both might receive. If you don’t think your love is that strong, then...” Pike’s face changed, softened. “You have to let her go. She deserves it all. You both do, but if what others think rules your entire existence together, then it’s already doomed.”

“That is what Michael said,” Spock heard his voice crack. He swallowed. “Thank you,” he said again and walked towards the door. It hissed open and Doctor Grace was coming in. Their eyes met as they passed each other, hers held confusion and a touch of fear. His held nothing but satisfaction. She had brought this on herself and deserved everything she got.

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Michael placed the glass of water in front of Spock and moved around the table to sit down opposite. He had asked for an audience in such a formal way with a ‘please may we sit down and talk’ that Michael had to wonder if this was it. Were they officially going to call it quits? She could remember clearly the things she’d said to him and while they were true, she had no idea what had come over her or why she’d said them so suddenly.

“Michael,” Spock started. “You need to know that Doctor Grace is with Captain Pike as we speak. She’s going to be reprimanded for using her position as a doctor to influence you. The drug she gave you makes you open to suggestion. She was planting seeds of doubt. She didn’t know it was you at the time, but she clearly wanted you to impart those seeds onto my... girlfriend.”

“What do you mean, at the time?”

“She found out it was you, somehow. She told her father who in turn called Captain Pike requesting he end our relationship.”

“What?” Michael shook her head. “He can’t do that.”

“No...” Spock shifted in his chair. “Only you and or I can do that.” He looked at her as if expecting a reaction. “He has however suggested that I be transferred back to the Enterprise.” She did react this time, but Spock continued. “Captain Pike made it clear that he would not do that, but Chancellor Grace is a man with influence and I don’t believe he will ever accept us being together.”

Michael frowned. “So... what?” She threw her hands up in the air. “That’s it? We just say, nice while it lasted and give up?”

“I am not saying that, Michael.” There was an edge to his tone. “I am simply informing you about what has happened since we spoke this morning.”

“Ahh, yes...” Michael was suddenly on edge again. Her hand was hurting again and time had passed, so she considered if the drug was still in her system, but dismissed it. “About that... I’m sorry I got so upset, but... The fact is...” Sadness overpowered her and she fought off tears welling in her eyes. “Doctor Grace may have done us a favour.”

Spock’s face hardened and his jaw tightened. “How so?”

“I love you, Spock. With all my heart, but...” She shrugged. “Maybe love just isn’t enough.”

“Love is the strongest of emotions.” Spock’s brow creased with confusion. “I do not understand your meaning.”

“Being together, I mean... really together. It’d be hard. Whether it’s purists that think interracial couples are an abomination or ordinary people like Tilly who can’t get past the fact that they see us as brother and sister. Whatever... whoever it is, for whatever reason. It’s going to be hard.”

“I understand that, Michael, of course I do.” Spock reached out to touch her hand, but she pulled back.

“Do you?” The tears finally won. “I mean really? Can you take it, even though it may threaten our careers? That’s why you stay silent, isn’t it? At least that’s what you tell me.”

“The events of today have proven that assumption to be correct.”

Michael nodded. “Yes, yes they have. The thing is... I can take it. I would fight to the death for you. I wouldn’t ever let the purist tell me who I could or could not be with.”

“Neither would I.”

“Maybe that’s true,” Michael sniffed. “But what about everybody else? Here on Discovery, on the Enterprise if we were to move there? I can take it. I can take it all. The smirks, the sniggers, the stares and disapproval. It would be hard, but I could take it.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “You know what I can’t take though? What eats me up inside and tells me that us...” She gestured between them. “... we, have no chance.”

Spock’s face was ice, but his eyes were wide. “What would that be?”

“You, Spock. I can’t take you being embarrassed by me. Ashamed to let others know we’re together. I want... need a man that is proud to be my partner, and I’m sorry, Spock. I don’t think that’s ever going to be you.”

Spock opened his mouth to speak but Michael put up a hand. “Don’t say it... just don’t say anything, Spock. I need you to leave.”

Spock stood up slowly and she could see the rise and fall of his chest. “I can see you’re overwhelmed. I... I think we should finish this discussion at a later time.”

Spock turned to leave, but not before she noticed the tear on his cheek. Damn it. Why... why didn’t he fight back? Why couldn’t he just say no, none of that was true! He was proud and love was enough. Michael put her face in her hands. Maybe because he couldn’t. Maybe because she was right. She watched the door close behind him before her sobs turned into full-blown tears.

She cried for several minutes before she heard the hiss of the door open. “Spock?” she said impulsively.

“No, sorry,” Tilly said coyly. “It’s just me.” She took a step closer and then she was by her side crouched down. “Oh, Michael, Ohh...” Tilly sobbed. “I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry. Please... I was shocked, but I know you and Spock aren’t really related and I really didn’t mean to... you know... make you mad or... upset. I love you, you’re my best friend.” She wrapped her arms around her. “Please forgive me. I... I’m just stupid sometimes and I’m happy. Happy for both of you.” She pulled her closer and Michael responded by shaking her head.

“I’m sorry too,” Michael said pulling out of the embrace. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Tilly. It’s okay. The fact is, it’s all a moot point now anyway.” She swiped angry tears away. “He doesn’t love me, not as much as I love him.”

Tilly pulled a chair up and sat down and took hold of Michael’s hand. “What do you mean? He does love you. I’m so stupid for not seeing it. Especially when you went missing. He was so worried. I thought... you know... you’re his sister and all, but no... I just couldn’t see it until now. He looks at you and... he is totally head over heels for you.”

“Yeah, well...” Michael swiped at her tears again. “Not that much. We just broke up.”

“What?” Tilly’s eyes widened. “Why?”

He’s ashamed of me... maybe not me exactly, but of us. I can’t do that anymore. I don’t want to.”

Tilly gave her hand a squeeze. “I don’t believe that.”

Michael snatched her hand away, suddenly angry. “Well it’s true and I don’t need you or anyone else telling me it’s not when it is!” Tilly stared at her wide eyed, mouth hung open for a moment and Michael realized she wasn’t really angry at her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“You’re right,” Tilly said with a wry smile. “You don’t need me telling you what’s true. Your truth is all that matters.” Tilly stood up. “Come on...” She gestured for Michael to stand. “I can tell you what you do need. A hot meal and to get out of this room.”

Michael shook her head. “I’m a mess.”

“Commander Michael Burnham. Go grab a quick light shower and get changed. That’s an order.” Tilly’s face changed. “I mean... you know... not an order, seeing as how you out rank me and all, but...”

Tilly being Tilly made Michael smile. “Okay,” she said and stood up. “You’re a good friend.” She felt another tear roll down her cheek as she walked towards the bathroom. A light shower, yes. She didn’t think she would ever be able to have a water shower again.

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Spock headed straight for his quarters after his discussion with Michael. His heart was racing. Had they just broke up? The thought made his blood pressure rise. This couldn’t be happening. Why was this happening? At first he blamed the Purists, Doctor Grace and her father, but ultimately, while they were the catalysts that sent things into motion, he was the one that had done this. The commitment Michael craved... He thought he’d given it to her. He couldn’t imagine himself with any other woman, but...

He entered his quarters to find a red light flashing on his console. A message... A message from his father. Spock sighed. He hadn’t known why he would call, but after his conversation with the captain, he was certain he did. Chancellor Grace would have called him to tell him about his children and Spock could only imagine how angry he would be. And his mother... Would Sarek have told his mother? She would be so disappointed in him.

Spock sat down at the console. He didn’t know what he was going to say, but then he thought about what he could not say. He could not say he was sorry, because he wasn’t. His time with Michael was... Spock blinked at the past tense. “No,” he said softly as the realization started to hit. He could see his bed from across the console. Not his... THEIR bed. There was a beep and another red light flashed. It pulled him from his musings and he hit the answer button automatically.

A hologram of Sarek stood in front of him and Spock stood up to be at the same height. “Hello, Father.”

“Spock,” Sarek said by way of greeting. “I’ve been trying to contact you. Did you not get my message?”

“Yes,” Spock said placing his hands behind his back in an ‘eyes up’ position. “I have been rather busy. My apologies.”

Sarek nodded. “I understand. I too have had a lot to deal with and on top of that I received a call from---,”

“Chancellor Grace,” Spock finished for him. “I am aware.”

Sarek jutted his chin. “Is it true? Are you and Michael...” he didn’t complete the question.

“Yes,” Spock answered plainly and something suddenly shifted inside of him. He was not going to let this man belittle what they had... have. “I am bonded to her... in every way.”

“You are brother and sister, Spock.”

“No, we are not.”

“Alright, let me rephrase that. People see you as brother and sister. This, once it is out, may affect your career. Are you prepared for that? People, especially humans can be very biased.”

“Actually,” Spock felt a spike of anger. “It is the Vulcan’s who show bias. Chancellor Grace headed the Purist movement or had you forgotten? It was the cause of a lot of anguish, not just for myself but for you and Mother as well. Not to mention how they treated Michael.”

“I have not forgotten, Spock!” There was that authoritative tone and Spock braced for the onslaught. “I have lived it my entire life and so has your mother!”

“And you do not wish it for me or Michael, correct?” Spock was suddenly sure... ready to stand his ground.

“Of course we do not wish that degree of difficulty for either of you.”

“We? You have told Mother?”

“Of course. She was as shocked as I am.”

Spock breathed in and needed to concentrate on not showing his emotion, his confusion and his anger. “I apologize for not being the one to tell you both, but that is all I am sorry for.”

“Yes. You cannot imagine the predicament your silence put me in when Chancellor Grace called.”

‘Your silence’, echoed in Spock’s head. That was it. His concern about what others would say and think. His concern about their careers as Starfleet Officers. His fear... his silence. Spock’s heart sank a little, but his resolve finally took hold. “Do not ask me to leave her, Father. I will not. I love her.”

Sarek blinked. “You believe I would ask that of you?” He shook his head and continued. “I know you do not think much of me, Spock, but I raised you to be your own man. I have already walked the path you are embarking on. It is not an easy one, because it demands total and utter conviction and devotion. I wished to first confirm that Chancellor Grace’s information was true, but I also wished to know if you understood how hard this path is. If you are truly prepared to walk it, no matter the consequences.”

Spock’s confusion doubled. Was his father actually supporting this? “I am,” he said... “now,” he added as an afterthought. How could he have been so stupid? His father was correct, Michael was correct, in some ways, even Doctor Grace was correct. The anger drained from his body, replaced by a sure footedness he had struggled to find. “I love her, Father. I will never love like this again.”

Sarek looked sideways and then back at him and his Mother stepped in beside him. “Hello, Spock.” She smiled, warm and sweet.

“Hello, Mother.” Spock felt un-named emotions run through him. If the truth be known, a huge part of his silence had been concern about what his parents... their parents, would think.

“We miss you,” Amanda said and her bottom lip quivered. “Both of you.” She swallowed. “Will you promise on your next shore leave to come visit us?”

Sarek looked at her. “Amanda, I am sure as a young couple they have other places to be in their free time rather than with their parents.”

Spock couldn’t bring himself to smile, but he wanted to. This was as close as he would get to having his parent’s blessing. “No, Father. We would like to come visit. I will talk to Michael and make it happen.”

Amanda’s smile widened and while Sarek’s lips remained neutral, his eyes brightened. “Good, then it’s settled,” Amanda said. “We will see you soon.”

Sarek nodded. “Give Michael our best wishes.” Then... just like that, they were gone. The conversation he had dreaded most since the first time he’d kissed Michael was over. He wasn’t downtrodden or angry. He felt light and relieved and... liberated! He needed to talk to Michael. He needed to let her know. She was right and he was sorry. He would never be silent again.

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Spock headed straight for Michael’s quarters and was surprised to find her not there. It scrambled his brain to think where she might have gone. It worried him. She was visibly upset when he left her 2 hours ago. He hit his comm. “Lieutenant Detmer? Could you please locate Commander Burnham for me?”

“Yes, Sir.” There was a beat of silence. “She’s in the lift with Ensign Tilly, heading to deck 10.”

Deck 10? “Thank you Lieutenant.” He thought for a moment. That was the Mess Hall. He turned left instead of right and moved towards the lift. He needed to speak to her and for the first time ever, he didn’t care where she was, when he said the things he needed to say.

He saw them at the door leading into the food area, when he stepped out of the lift. The hall was more for the social aspect than for crew to eat, considering everyone had replicators in their rooms. He didn’t know why, but it disturbed him, Michael would want to be with people, so quickly after their fight.

“Michael?” he shouted, halting both her and Tilly.

“Spock?” Michael looked shocked. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to speak with you.”

“Spock, I don’t think now is a---,”

“It’s important, Michael. Please, just a few minutes.”

Tilly looked around and then back at them both, her cheeks a little flushed. “Ahh...” She pointed a finger towards the door. I’m just gonna... go find a table.” She looked at Michael as if seeking permission.

“That’s fine, Tilly.” Michael nodded. “I’ll be over in a moment.” She looked up at Spock. “What’s so important it can’t wait?”

“Us, Michael. We are important.”

Michael huffed out a breath. A look of disbelief on her face. “No... I am not doing this here.” She turned to walk but Spock caught her by her arm.

“Four things, Michael. I need to tell you two things, ask you one and show you another.”

Michael’s brow creased and she looked pointedly at Spock’s hand around her bicep. He let go. “Two minutes, Spock. What do you need to say, ask and show me?”

“One... Chancellor Grace contacted Sarek and told him about us.”

Michael physically paled and her eyes widened.

“He made a very compelling argument as to why we should not remain together.”

Michael pursed her lips together. “Well that’s it then, I guess. Sarek has spoken.”

“Indeed... However, Michael, I told him that I would never love like this again.”

Michael’s features softened. “What?”

Spock locked eyes with her. “Two... If I am honest, I am still uncertain that I am made for fatherhood. It is a responsibility that I, at this stage of my life have not yet even contemplated. One thing I am certain of though.” He took a step closer. “You are the only woman I could ever envisage being the mother of my children. So, yes... if the chance arose and the time was right, I would want to have a child with you.”

Michael blinked and a tear spilt over, running down her cheek. She was staring at him, like she couldn’t truly believe what she was hearing. She sucked in a shaky breath and swallowed.

“Three...” And here it was. His utter and total acceptance, no matter the consequences. “When we were on leave, I asked you a question about human rituals. In particular, hand holding. Do you remember your response?” 

She nodded and her lips parted. “I... It’s a signal to others that you’re together, a couple.”

“Four,” Spock said quietly and took hold of her un-bandaged hand. He brought it to his lips, kissing it briefly. He slid his fingers to entwine with hers and looked through the door into the Mess Hall. “Shall we?” he said, holding his breath.

“I... Are you sure?” her words were shaky.

Spock didn’t answer he just turned and started to lead her into the room. Heads turned almost instantly and he could see Tilly’s grin, even from a distance. The whispers got louder, but by the time they reached the table, the whispers had hushed and people had returned to eating.

There would undoubtedly be more stares, whispers and questions in the morning. It was not going to be as simple as it seemed right now, but that was okay. He was where he was supposed to be. Beside the woman that he loved. He looked down at their hands, still entwined. If this is what it took, if this is what she needed, he would never let go.

THE END.


End file.
